Menopause, Gender, and Identity: Navigating Changes as a Non-Binary or Trans Person

Navigating perimenopause or menopause as a non-binary or trans person is deeply personal and often emotionally fraught. Unfortunately, most conversations, resources, and even healthcare systems frame menopause as a cisgender female experience. But what happens when that narrative doesn’t fit?

If you’re feeling invisible, overwhelmed, or dysphoric navigating hormonal shifts, you’re not alone. This blog is here to affirm, educate, and support you. Whether you're taking HRT for non-binary affirmation, facing unexpected menopause symptoms, or just trying to find the safest lubricant for intercourse after menopause—we see you.

We’ll also explore Wicked Sensual Care's simply™ timeless collection—a line of lubricants thoughtfully formulated for dryness, irritation, and hormone-related changes often experienced during perimenopause, menopause and beyond.

Why This Conversation Matters

Let’s start here: menopause is not a woman-only experience.

While mainstream narratives often portray menopause as something that happens only to cisgender women, many trans men, non-binary people, and gender non-conforming individuals also experience it. For some, it can be empowering. For others, it can cause distress or disconnection from gender identity.

Important Definitions:

Perimenopause: The hormonal transition before menopause.
Menopause: Typically defined as 12 months after the last menstrual period.
Menopausal Hormone Therapy (MHT) or HRT: Hormones used to reduce symptoms of menopause.

"Menopause happens to PEOPLE, not just 'ladies.'" — Queer Menopause

7 Common Challenges for Non-Binary and Trans People During Menopause

1. Gendered Language & Invisibility

Medical brochures say "women," not "people."
Pronouns are often assumed.
Conversations are filled with binary assumptions.

2. Dysphoria Triggered by Hormonal or Bodily Changes

Vaginal dryness, hot flashes, and mood swings can feel deeply gendered.
Menopause-related medical exams can trigger body dysphoria.

3. Lack of Inclusive Care

Doctors may not recognize that trans men or non-binary AFAB folks experience menopause.
HRT for non-binary AFAB individuals may be complicated by hormone gatekeeping.

4. Navigating Hormones

Some may avoid estrogen-based MHT for fear of being "re-feminized."
Others may find that microdosing testosterone helps libido and comfort.

5. Sexual Discomfort

GSM (Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause) causes pain and dryness.
Finding the best lubricant for intercourse after menopause can be a game-changer.

6. Mental Health & Identity Shifts

Hormonal changes can impact how we relate to our gender.
Some people feel more aligned with their gender identity post-menopause; others feel confusion.

7. Fear of Aging Without Affirming Resources

There's a profound lack of visibility for aging LGBTQIA+ bodies.
Resources are often focused on reproduction and femininity.

What Helps? Affirming Strategies & Tools

1. Inclusive Hormone Care

Talk to an LGBTQIA+ competent doctor about options like:
- Microdosing testosterone
- Combining T with topical estrogen (for GSM)
- Customizing MHT to your needs

2. Use the Right Lubricants for You

Sex lubricant for menopausal dryness like the simply™ timeless is essential for comfort and pleasure.

Our top picks from the simply™ timeless collection:

simply™ timeless Aqua (Water-Based)

Ideal for daily dryness and intimacy.
Fragrance-free, pH balanced, safe with all toys.

simply™ timeless Aqua Jelle

A thicker water-based option, perfect for anal play or extra cushion.

simply™ timeless Hybrid + DHEA

Blends water + silicone and adds DHEA for skin-comforting, long-lasting play.
Excellent for daily moisturizing and comfort.

simply™ timeless Silicone

Long-lasting, ultra-slick, ideal for long sessions or shower play.

Many non-binary people feel empowered when menstruation stops—but shocked when menopause symptoms still arrive. Lubricants can help ease this transition with comfort, not shame.

simply® timeless Hybrid + DHEA

simply® timeless Silicone

simply® timeless Aqua JELLE Water-Based

simply® timeless Aqua Water-Based

3. Connect with Affirming Community Resources

Follow platforms like Queer Menopause and check out our Menopause Hub.
Find local LGBTQIA+ menopause or perimenopause support groups.
Talk openly about what helps libido during menopause—you're not alone!

4. Reframe Sexuality Post-Menopause

Menopause can radically change sex—but that doesn't mean your sex life has to end.

Pleasure After 40+? Absolutely.

Tips:

Redefine intimacy beyond penetration.
Explore mutual touch, massage, kink, toys.
Lubricants = less friction, more sensation, more confidence.

5. Mental Health & Gender Affirmation

Seek therapists who understand:
- Non-binary estrogen needs
- Trans people and menopause
- Non-binary AFAB menopause experiences

"I didn’t even know I was in menopause until my periods stopped. My doctor didn’t think to mention it because I’m a transmasc person. I only realized when the brain fog and night sweats hit full blast." — SR42, LGBTQ+ Menopause Survey

FAQs: Non-Binary and Trans Menopause Real Talk

Q: Can trans men get menopause?

Yes. If you are AFAB and still have ovaries, you can go through perimenopause and menopause—even if you’re on testosterone.

Q: What helps with menopause sex drive?

DHEA-infused lubricants like simply® timeless™ Hybrid
Low-dose testosterone
Mindful pleasure practices

Q: What's the safest lubricant for intercourse after menopause?

Water-based options like simply® timeless™ Aqua are gentle and pH-balanced.
Avoid glycerin or parabens if you have sensitivities.
Consider silicone or hybrid for longer-lasting moisture.

Q: What if estrogen makes me dysphoric?

Microdosing testosterone may offer relief.
Topical estrogen for vaginal dryness is a good option as it doesn’t circulate system-wide.
There is no one-size-fits-all approach—you deserve options that align with your body and identity.

Menopause While Trans or Non-Binary: You Are Not Alone

Navigating menopause when you're non-binary, trans, or gender non-conforming comes with unique challenges—but also powerful opportunities for self-affirmation.

Here's what we want you to remember:

Menopause happens to people.
Your experience is valid, even if medical forms or magazines ignore it.
Lubricants are not a luxury—they're liberation.
There are solutions for perimenopause sexual desire and dryness that will work for your body and your identity.

Wicked Sensual Care's simply® timeless™ collection is one of the only product lines designed with you in mind.