boo.

boo.

Happy Halloween season!

This is one of my favorite times of the year. I love the changing weather that brings out all my favorite soft sweaters.  I love Fall smells and tastes, too- like that warm, spicy apple cider taste (pro tip: mix our Candy Apple with Cinnamon Bun!) and the smell of a crackling fire just makes me want to curl up like a cat and get cozy with my favorite vibrator. 

By far, though, my favorite time during this season is Halloween because it’s the perfect time to play dress up- and let’s face it- now that we’re older, the treats are WAY better. It’s also easier during this time to “accidentally” introduce your partner to roleplaying. 

By the Oxford English Dictionary definition, role playing is “The changing of one’s behavior to assume a role”, so it’s more than putting on a costume…it’s a change of attitude and personality. This can be done strictly for a fun aesthetic at a costume party, or often in the established dynamic of a relationship, it can spice things up by changing a power dynamic, exploring fantasies, and revving up your imagination and creativity. You might discover hidden kinks- or you may find a way to finally convey them to your partner. It’s also a great tool for exploring your own identity.

Often, folks choose to be something or someone with characteristics they envy or admire. Others choose to act out their partner’s fantasy. Whatever motivates you, I’ve made a list of ideas to get you started.

• Strangers. Meet in public and act like you’ve never met. You might wear something you normally wouldn’t or assume an occupation that you don’t have in order to create the set up.
• Boss/Employee. Frowned upon by HR, role playing this power dynamic can really stoke the fires of relationship in a rut. If you’re usually the more “dominant” person, be the employee.
• Transactional Sex. Turn your partner into someone paid to satisfy your desires or vice versa. Dress for the occasion. The money goes on the nightstand. Bonus points for doing this in a hotel room. This type of play has been found to improve direct communication about technique during sex, long after the interaction takes place.
• Fantasy Characters. A little cosplay, and you can meet your partner in a fantasy realm. Taking over the mannerisms and personalities of characters you’re into, the mundane routine of everyday life fades away, and you’re free to be anything you want.
• Their Ultimate Fantasy (and then yours.) Maybe you have a thing for people in suits. Maybe they want to see you in a cheerleading outfit screaming their name. Do firefighters excite you? Do you love being pet until you purr like a kitty? Start asking each other about fantasies, and indulge one other. 

It doesn’t have to be Halloween to do this, but it sure makes for a great excuse to start.

No tricks, only treats!

xo,

jd