Back to love
We’ve seen the signs on store shelves for weeks if not months by now, reminding us that Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching. I have some really mixed feelings about this holiday- commercialization of love and romance aside- because right before the pandemic began, my primary partner of 16 YEARS spent the day with me, gave me cards and gifts, took me to dinner, and then proceeded to break up with me in the most brutal way. As someone who previously loved every holiday, the sight of pink and red hearts, boxes of chocolate, and sugary sweet cards is repulsive…
There’s no escaping it, though. Unless I move to a country that doesn’t observe it, (or avoid Target, which for me is impossible) Valentine’s Day is happening.
Maybe in the form of Valentine’s Day, maybe Galentine’s Day.
Maybe it’s Singles Awareness Day.
Whatever it is, I vote we just bring it back to LOVE. Love for ourselves.
I’m making a list of things I can do to love myself, and I’m inviting you to do the same thing, if it feels good for you.
- Start small! First I make sure I’ve eaten recently & hydrated. (It sounds obvious, but I have been known to wonder what’s wrong with me at 2pm after only having had 2 cups of coffee.
- Move my body. It was the one goal I made for myself in 2022, and because I know that I can move through emotions by moving my body, this one REALLY helps.
- Forgive myself. If it’s in the past, it’s already done. I vow to do better next time, give myself grace, and move on.
- Set boundaries- for myself and other people. (Thank you, Jimanekia Eborn, for this one.) Saying no to things I don’t want to do or don’t want in my life makes space for more things I DO want.
- Spoil myself. This is what society often calls “selfcare”- things like oily baths with my favorite smells, an amazing cheese board all to myself, a sunset drive to the beach, getting a massage, watching porn or reading erotica and masturbating (use lube!)
Although you don’t need to fully love and accept yourself before you can love someone else- we are ALL works in progress- you can absolutely get comfortable with lavishing love on yourself this Valentine’s Day or ANY day of the year.
Especially during a pandemic. ; )
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