Demeter Delune’s Guide to Lube and Sex Toys

Many moons ago, I remember going to the local drug store to secretly acquire some lube. Why secretly? Well, I was young and planning to try anal sex for the first time, and I surely didn’t want to explain to the pharmacist or anyone else who worked at my small-town, local drug store why I needed lubricant.

Luckily, it didn’t take long to choose as there was only one type. KY Jelly. These days, even at the drugstore, there are a variety of options in the lubricant section and I’m happy to report, I no longer skulk about if I choose to purchase my lube there.

While I am well-versed in which lubricant I need for what purpose, I realize not everyone may be as experienced as I am when it comes to pairing the right lube with their plans. 

Water Based Lube

When you think of using lube, water based lube is what probably comes to mind first. It’s the most basic lube available and literally goes with everything. You can use it with all of your sex toys and it’s compatible with latex condoms. The best ones will also be moisturizing and not leave a sticky residue, such as Wicked Sensual Care’s fragrance free Aqua.

If your sex toy is made of silicone, and most of them are, silicone based lubricant is not recommended. The safest bet is always water-based lubricant, as it is compatible with all your toys. Some water based lubricants don’t always have a ton of staying power, but the good news is, adding just a few drops of water reactivates the lube and you’re good to go!

Pros of Water Based Lube:

 

• It doesn’t stain your sheets
• Washes off easily in water
• Compatible with sex toys/condoms

 

Cons of Water Based Lube:

 

• May not be thick enough/long-lasting enough for anal/long sex sessions.

• Some people find it to be too sticky.

SILICONE LUBE

If you have sensitive skin or you really enjoy having sex in the shower, silicone lube is a great option for you. One of the pros of water based lube is that it washes away easily with water, but that’s a con if you’re having a good time in the bath or shower–but with silicone lube, like Wicked’s Ultra Silicone, that’s not a problem.

It stays put and has the added bonus of leaving your skin feeling pretty amazing. It’s also compatible with latex condoms. It is not, however, compatible with your silicone sex toys, as it can erode them and cause damage, leaving them susceptible to bacteria, which is never a good thing.

Silicone lube is also fantastic for anal play, but remember, if you’re going to be incorporating a toy, be sure it’s not a silicone one or cover it with a condom just to be on the safe side.

Pros of Silicone Lube:

 

• Good for sensitive skin
• Long lasting
• Made with high quality ingredients
• Safe to use with most condoms

 

Cons of silicone lube:

 

• Not safe to use with most silicone sex toys

HYBRID LUBE

Is there an in-between? If you really like the pros of water based lubes but also want some staying power of silicone lubes–but you want to be able to use it with your silicone toys, then hybrid lube is going to be your new best friend. It’s really the best of both worlds. You can use it with toys, condoms, in the shower, the tub, for anal, not have to worry about reapplying very often, and for the most part it doesn’t stain. If you want a longer lasting lubricant that’s safe for your silicone toys, a hybrid lubricant is a great choice. Wicked has two outstanding choices, their standard Hybrid, plus simply timeless Hybrid with DHEA for a more moisturizing choice.

Hybrid lubricants are water and silicone based, but still safe for toys. They’re thicker, thanks to the silicone part in the lube, and stay in place a lot longer than strictly water based lubes. 

Pros of Hybrid Lube:

 

• Best of both worlds (all the pros of water and silicone based lubes)
• Safe for use with all your sex toys
• Safe for use with latex condoms
• Long lasting (washes off easier in water than regular silicone lube, but not as easy as regular water based lube)

 

Cons of Hybrid Lube:

 

• Not quite as long lasting as straight silicone lube

• Doesn’t wash off as easily as water based lube

There are also specialty lubricants on the market that can make masturbation, toy play, and sex a lot more interesting. Wicked Sensual Care has a number of items to make sexy time more fun, with hot and cold play (Heat and Chill)  and flavored lubricant for oral. Using lube every time you have sex can make things slicker, more fun, and just plain sexier. Something I learned only a few years ago when I got into sex education was using lube more frequently while giving oral (and receiving!) can be so fun and make things go down a lot easier. Pun fully intended.

LUBE FOR MASTURBATION

Using lube when you’re masturbating is also fantastic, whether you’re incorporating toys into your play or not. Wetter is always better and when you’re engaging in solo play, why not romance yourself? The stress of the day can cause vaginal dryness, but that doesn’t mean you’re not turned on, so adding lubricant can aid in bringing you pleasure instead of focusing on anxiety about whether you’re really in the mood or not.

BEST LUBE FOR PENISES

Don’t have a vagina/vulva? Then you’re probably already incorporating something wet when you’re masturbating and not thinking twice about it, aren’t you? I highly recommend switching to lube if that’s not what you’re already using, you’ll notice a difference, I promise.

There are many reasons why our bodies may not produce enough natural lubrication. Let’s do away with the idea that just because we aren’t wet doesn’t mean we aren’t sexually excited, because that simply may not be the case. Certain medications, stress, and illness can all lead to lack of lubrication–all things that using lube can easily correct.

When it’s all said and done, don’t forget to take care of your toys, they’re taking good care of you! Wicked Sensual Care has you covered there, too. While antibacterial soap and warm water is always the best option for cleaning up when sexy time is over, using a high quality toy cleaner like Foam and Fresh in the interim will help keep your toys shiny and new--and provide a quick clean-up until you’re able to get them to the bath. 

DEMETER DELUNE'S GUIDE TO LUBE AND SEX TOYS

Using lubricant and sex toys is nothing to be ashamed of. Feeling good and being comfortable while doing it should never be anything to feel ashamed about, and knowing which products are right for your body, your toys, and what you’re getting into is the best way to enjoy your time.